Saturday 19 April 2014

Number 15


Perfect – slows things down nicely. The only thing I've ever successfully* grown from a seed and watched and nurtured is Fred. Everything else I've tried to grow has either got going a little bit then died, or just not got going at all. I really admire people who grow stuff, but it's just not in my bones.  Whenever I turn on the car radio, at whatever time of day or night, Gardeners' Sodding Question Time is always on, taunting me: 'Celia from Surrey is wondering whether to transplant her triceratops meconium to a pot.' I understand as much of the programme ('Celia ...Surrey ... pot') as a cat would of a documentary on the Cold War, and yet I never turn it off immediately. I get a combination of nausea from listening to something that's completely uninteresting to me, but also a strange pleasure from listening to something that's in my language but meaningless to me. I get the same feeling from reading yachting magazines ('This month: Which asymmetric spinnaker furler is right for you?') or reading bridge columns, which would be ruined if I knew how to play bridge, or what a spinnaker even is. 
I really do like the idea of growing something to eat, though, and am going in with determination. Well-worth-it's two for a pound offer has a limited range, and the choice was easy:
basil – because herbs are expensive to buy, and probably quick to grow (guessing – could take five years for all I know)
·        chilli – because I'm going to do my own spin-off challenge of making Caroline Mackintosh's Chilli Jam.

*not based on a survey of his teachers


8 comments:

Molly Potter said...

I also find Gardener's Question Time good for inducing a trance like state.

So you are open to spin off challenges? Interesting.

Have you actually surveyed the teachers?



Claire Potter said...

Still just you and me here then, Moll?

jim_greenan said...

Molly - try GSQT to hypnotise your difficult clients. I am certainly open to my own spin-offs, yes, and will consider anything. Yes, I surveyed the teachers. 92.3% said they hoped we now use birth control.

Anonymous said...

"Jackie- pretending to be anon"- it's only just dawning on me that you have to do this every Monday- I love you Jim for being gung-ho enough to just keep opening them and doing as you're told! Just hoping there isn't a mass murder one- now you're fully committed!

Claire Potter said...

Jackie, whose bloody side are you on?!! How many times do I have to tell you - he is not 'doing as he's told'. He is 'developing as a person.'

jim_greenan said...

Jackie - I married a Potter sister - what else can I do? I have my fingers crossed in my pocket when I do the challenges though as a rebellion. I've had similar thoughts though - tomorrow is Monday, and it could say 'poke out your eye with a stick.' If so, I'll write what I think about it, then actually poke out my eye with a stick, then (might take a while, as you can't get on the internet at our local hospital) say how it went.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog Jim! (It's Hazel here, you know, the better of the two Klunk fiddlers, technically I don't appear to have a profile so have opted for anonymous). Have been reading & enjoying all of your entries (is that what I can call them?) but since I'm not very facebooky never thought of commenting or interacting about it!...loved the one in Poland recently & those photos, which I think are superb...looking forward to the rest of your challenges & your wit in weaving such beautiful tales about them..

jim_greenan said...

Thanks, Hazel! Glad you like it and nice of you to say so! Any idea what became of the weaker of the two Klunk fiddlers?