Monday, 13 October 2014


Claire wrote a blog post for the Guardian about my fifty things, and I can safely say it divided opinion. Most comments were from people who got it. Lots were critical but acerbically funny. Some gave good suggestions for challenges - sorry, RedTelecaster, but I can't include your challenges involving the swan and the nun, because I've already done them. What a night that was! My memory of the evening is blurry, but I still get texts from the swan, so it must have been the nun I caught, cooked and ate.
Some people were angry. Very, very angry. The very last commenter, for example. She gets straight in there.
GorgeousRedHead   The trouble with this nonsense is that none of it involves a genuine risk. 
How about standing for election against UKIP? How about becoming a 100% raw food vegan and being an advocate?
Two of these I see as great things to do. I'd be proud to do them myself and tip my hat to any who does. But these are serious things. My present was for fun.
How about joining a spiritualist church and sitting in a mediumship circle to learn to talk to the dead?
Slightly unexpected turn, but wouldn't say no.
How about campaigning for the Kurds? Tie yourself to Downing Street, camp out at Parliament Square against any and all military action against everyone everywhere.
Again, I respect people who put themselves forward and protest - possibly in a more focused way, though.
Actually do something that will make your wife think about divorcing you ...  
Why would I do that? I don't want to.
... and off the top of my head, how about taking a vow of silence for six months? Move to the Himalayas? Walk naked from Lands End to John O'Groats?
Hmm, tricky from a work point of view. And we seem to have lost the helping-other-people thread.
Campaign for an innocent in prison, ...
Yep, great. But then comes the sudden wave of anger from nowhere. Snarled out like Kathy Bates.
... or how about just going away because your life is so complacent you can't even see it?
Followed by the full-apoplexy.
Visit a Crop Circle? [ ... #$@&%*! ... unable to speak now with fury; tomato face; flailing fists punching the air ] ... Create one!!!!!!!!!
Surreal and brilliant. Now some deep breaths to calm down, and let's have the punchline in a sinister whisper:
Oh, and get arrested. Happy Birthday.
Birthday wishes were a nice thou ... hang on - I hope they were genuine. I'll be offended if they weren't.
This is the fury of someone who was browsing the Guardian Lifestyle section. Was she lost? In any case, there were enough clues in the title of the article to show it wasn't the latest report on all military action against everyone everywhere. If I do become a 100% raw food vegan, I'm going to spend all my time in a butcher's shop, screaming at the sausages.


Gaynor said...

I too read your wife's article in the Guardian (and couldn't believe the snarkiness of some of the comments, some people take life wayyy to seriously). Your blog is entertaining and very, very funny. When I want to read about the latest Ebola outbreak I shall probably be forced to look elsewhere, but I am awaiting your next challenge with anticipation. Please can we see more of Derek btw, I do worry about him languishing on a shelf. You're better than that Jim.

Liz Bahs said...

Hello, How odd that people felt inclined to comment so aggressively! I found your blog via the Guardian article in question and liked it enough to forward it to friends and family all around the world. I think the challenges are great and your approach to them is refreshing. I need to do something like this for my dad, to get him off the sofa and out of his slippers... Liz

jim_greenan said...

Thanks Liz. Yes, do the same for your dad if you think he'd like it, but start off gentle! Good luck with that.

And thanks, Gaynor - thought I'd replied but it's not there. Well done for noticing that you don't come here for the latest war of ebola news.

Molly Potter said...

I was amazed at some of the comments left on the website. It's amazing how a bit of light-hearted fun and entertainment appears to stir up such strong negative emotions in some people. Anyway - knowing you and Claire like I do....I suspect you'll just continue to be happy in your action packed and fun filled life. xxxx
P.S. For those who don't know them - the 50 challenges is a tiny part of their lives!