I opened number 2 of 'Fifty things to do when you're fifty' yesterday. It said 'Have a bath and really think about how good it feels'. I liked this – I haven't had a bath for years, it had been a tricky day, and I thought it might help the thigh strain I was limping around with. Claire even ran the bath for me. Apparently she also said I'd need to add some cold, but I didn't hear this. I put my right foot in. The water was almost boiling. I took my right foot out and shook it all about. It was bright red and already starting to swell. Holding back the tears, I put the shower attachment in the water – that's how you fill baths round these parts - and turned on the cold. Five minutes later it was a safe temperature, so I got in, leaving my scalded foot on the side to cool. The water was shallower than I expected – in fact, after a minute, there was no water, as I had accidentally hoiked out the plug with the shower attachment. I left the bathroom shivering, in pain, and now limping on both legs like a chimp trying to tiptoe silently. 48 things to go.