So on Thursday the nightly children's taxi service will be suspended, and I will be attending the beginners' modern jive class in Kidlington: beginners' lesson is at 8, then the experienced dancers arrive and beginners are removed for a recap and a nervous sweat. 9.30 is 'lights off' and a free for all. Claire, who is a dancer, has been to one of these classes (but isn't going on Thursday), and could barely describe what I can expect without collapsing in giggles. But she has at least supplied me with the fireproof leotard and ostrich feather which she explained everyone has to wear, so at least I won't look like the odd one out. Any non-dancing wooden-legged brothers or sisters would be extremely welcome!